Mother's Day (Three-In-One)

Today is Mother's Day in the UK, also known as "Mothering Sunday" which is a term that makes me giggle. Since we are kind of tethered to both the US & UK celebrations of this, the celebration always ends up slightly half-hearted. Which is fine by me. I feel loved and appreciated every day by my family every day- really I do. So boiling the day down to giving me my choice of where we eat for lunch, a bouquet of roses from Tesco and a card colored by Viola is more than enough for me.

I know Mother's Day probably should stir up a lot of emotion from me, but it kind of doesn't. It feels like most any other day to me for the most part, but I've had a thought in my brain for a while. Since it's a temporal thought that won't apply forever and since it is Mother's Day, I wanted to write it down here now.

I'm a mom, right? Right. I have a daughter. But I also have a daughter that died. And I also have a son on the way. It may look like I have one kid to the world, but in my head I have three very distinct children.

The thing is, they're just all in different places. I have one with me. One in heaven. One on the way. It's a weird reality, and one that I haven't entirely been able to reconcile. Obviously, the hope is that the one on the way soon shifts the tally, and we have two here with us.

But for now, instead of having a big family clumped together, Tyler and I find ourselves thinking about three sweet souls so far away from the each other.

It's hard and weird to try to explain... but I think you can probably get the jist of it. I feel like Ebeneezer Scrooge being moved between the ghosts of Past, Present & Future. One with us, one lost, one to come.

So there you have it... a blog post with no profound wrap-up. No advice or special tip to help anyone else. I just didn't feel like Mother's Day could be over writing down my thoughts. (I guess becoming a mom makes you do weird stuff like that, eh?)

Happy Mother's Day to anyone else in the UK.

I may not know you, but if you're constantly

feeling as drained at the end of each day as I feel

and are as crazy about your kids as I am-

just know, I think you're doing a really good job.

(And to the ones in the US & elsewhere, your day is coming!)